Genre: Action, Indie
Release Date: 13 May, 2014
I don't own a Pizza place but if I did I'd put this game out front arcade cabinet style and watch the customers roll in.. There is no game, whatever was programmed doesn't work on my machine and judging by the forums the developer has up and given up on supporting this game anyway. Negative review until I can actually play this or see the developer making some effort to fix these errors. In the meantime, let's explore how this title came to be.
Once upon the time there was a fruggo named "Froggy G." who loved pizza more than anything. More than he loved pushing bot lane. More than he loved vulturing kills off of Vinnies who are trying SO DAMN HARD despite the nerfs. He loved it so much he wanted to make a historical video game about the earliest known records of pizza delivery 1577 years before his time. He learned to code, which was a challenge as he reflexively attempted to swallow his monitor whole each time it displayed the italian flavor discs he so worshipped, but the froge persisted. Days into nights into weeks into months into years. His life committed to his endeavors so thoroughly it began to find ways to find a way to negatively impact the health of a football-shaped alien frog. His employers desperately nerfing the competition to even the fields of the atrophied froge, his heart no longer in the intergalactic battles as every splash dash free autoparry was nearly interrupted by his musings on how to properly integrate a currency system, teleporting back to base at inappropriate times so he could take down a note on more upgrades for the leveling system.
The entire war was forced to shift awkwardly into a tangled mess, a shadow of itself, just as the frog it tried to accommodate did, but bit by bit, through perseverance, persistence and pizza the frogola learned and pushed forward. But of course, there was trouble, the higher ups dissatisfied with having to constantly tolerate and bend over backwards to cope with the side effects of Froggy's project attempted to stop him. They should have known better to attempt to come between a hurtful racial stereotype space frog and his love of pizza. When the legion of Zurian interns came to confiscate his dear laptop with no cloud storage the G knew his time as a game developer was up, but if he thought fast, the time for pizza was only beginning. With a resounding "Yoman" he took hold of the portable computer in his clammy, awkward, clumsy hands, clinging it to his chest as he realized what he had to do. He splash dashed, like he never had before. Every shred of effort he'd denied his employers was paid back all at once with interest, the helpless, clueless interns bowled over and decimated by what could only be described as the unholy offspring of a cannonball and a tsunami. So intense and speedy were the frug's sweet moves that in his wake he found he'd not only torn apart his pizza-hating employer's goons but torn a new one in the time-space continuum. Closing his eyes he gave a silent prayer to the gods of all that was cheesy to give safe passage to his labor of love, flinging his laptop into the vortex of uncertainty just as it had begun to close.
They say now, if you play the game's intro theme backwards you can still hear the voice of that Frog with dreams (for pizza) almost as big as his stomach (for pizza) as he mournfully says "I see ya, but I really wanna pizza.". The greatest pizza strategy arcade shoot-em-up business simulator I've played to date.. Recommended !. Print pizza, be a\u2665\u2665\u2665\u2665\u2665\u2665\u2665\u2665in space, deliver pizza.
Fun game, well worth the price tag.
\u1566( \u0361\u00b0 \u035c\u0296 \u0361\u00b0)\u1564. Play this; this game has good everthing, good controls, good mechanics, good pizza, good sprites, good atmosphere, all of it!. not enough pizza. Concept is interesting. Retro is cool. Execution is poor.
First and foremost - this is the first game I've ever played ... and I do mean ~ever~ played, where the tutorial not only insults the player (plenty of those), but actually gives up on the player (*ding!* First EVAR! Congrats! You've leveled ~down~!) . Really. Three minutes in, and not only does the weak, weak tutorial fail to satisfactorally explain the gameplay, but it's not even accessible after two failures to do EXACTLY what it tells you to... leaving you to try and figure out game controls on your own, or re-boot the game.
Now, undoubtedly, there will be some whom find this "edgy" "neo-punk" attitude charming, but not, by whole, a wide audience.
After that, the extreme lack of information continues.
I can purchase upgrades to expand my capacity, for instance - but for the life of me, my current capacity is listed ~nowhere~. How about a status screen or two? Hmmm? One for my business and one for my current ship? Let me know where I f***ing stand, before insulting me time and again for not improving.
This game is far, far from polished-and-finished. I'll wait for updates, but I'm not going to hold my breath.. The game can be frustrating to say the least. It actually is comprised of some RPG elements in that you save up money to get upgrades which in turn get you more money. There is some levelling with XP that allow you to choose from 3 upgrade categories. There is also a pool of "coolness" points that, in the short time I've played, haven't made much sense to me. You apparantly are supposed to scrape other vehicles without causing damage, and doing so is supposed to increase your coolness level. However, after having scraped hundreds of vehicles it didn't seem like my coolness points were going up. At some point, and seemingly at random, some text popped up next to a vehicle I had just scraped, exclaiming "Cool!" and I saw my points go up. Unfortunately I have no idea what was different about that situation vs. all the other times I scraped a vehicle. Obviously there is a bit of a learning curve with this game.
The game itself is actually comprised of two mini-games. The first is to get the pizzas to their destination moon without wrecking your ship by swerving through lanes of traffic. If you wreck, you lose the pizzas and the money you spent making them. I actually found this part of the game to be rather tedious. I understood that I needed to survive the traffic, but the whole coolness system and what one is supposed to do in traffic still doesn't make a lot of sense to me. Unfortunately the tutorial didn't spend a lot of time on this aspect. The second part is delivering the pizzas to their destinations. This took me a few rounds to get right as the tutorial didn't actually explain that the way you deliver the pizza is to "shoot" it at the house. Originally I had been trying to drop off the pizza by hitting the button just as I was over top of the house; sufficed to say I couldn't figure out why my delivery numbers were so low.
Overall, it's a well made game, albeit confusing when first starting out. The tutorial can really use some polishing; in particular, it should give a better explanation of the coolness system and more precise instructions on how to raise your coolness points in traffic. One last note: the music. I can definitely see the background music being devisive amoung players, as there only seems to be one (or did I hear a second) song the whole game, and though it is somewhat catchy and reminiscent of bygone games of old, many will definitely feel the need to turn it down or completely off.
All said, I give it a 7\/10.
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